


Assignment: Green Day

by fabricdragon



Series: Kidnapping shuffle [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 007 Fest 2019, Assassins & Hitmen, Cats, First Meetings, Hacker Q (James Bond), Inspired by..., M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, team Bond Villain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 11:49:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19228579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: Inspired by a prompt shared to the 00q fangroup...Bond is sent to kill or kidnap (pardon "retrieve") a hacker and things dont go according to plan.Only_1_truth is doing a version of this prompt that is awesome (link in notes)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Only_1_Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_1_Truth/gifts), [KatHarkness_Katara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatHarkness_Katara/gifts), [RussianWitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianWitch/gifts), [Stormraven24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormraven24/gifts), [roseforthethorns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseforthethorns/gifts), [AnnaVronsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaVronsky/gifts).



Bond was, frankly, insulted.  M had assigned him to go retrieve a potential asset and ensure that retrieved or not they did not work for anyone else: bring them back or kill them with either being acceptable.  The problem was that it was an assignment to bring back some sort of computer hacker with utterly NO intelligence linking them to anything personally dangerous.

It was a deliberate act by M in retaliation for that… small problem with the embassy: a job like this could be done by one of MI6’s janitorial staff!

Bond was furious when he left MI6, peeved after driving for a bit, and back to business mode when he got into the right region.  At least this one was in the UK, so it was a quick trip to the dog house…

The target location was flats over a coffee shop in one of those areas that was fairly artsy and well off, but still bordering on less upscale neighborhoods. Bond spent the  remains of the day getting a look at the area- and buying a coffee- while figuring out how best to identify his target.

Frankly he was still peeved enough that it seemed simpler to just shoot whoever it was and go home, but he supposed M actually wanted him alive…

_ Maybe she didn't? _ Maybe he was supposed to understand that sending a Double Oh meant ‘ i have to make an attempt to bring him in , but I don't want him’? Maybe that was just wishful thinking, though.

While he was musing over it all he was still idly watching the people come and go- you couldn't take that out of an agent, really- when a rather bedraggled specimen came staggering in.

He stood, hunched over in a pained fashion in line, and when he looked up to give his order Bond could see he’d been beaten… badly beaten from the look of it.  Bond frowned: he should be in hospital.

“Oh dear LORD Andy! What happened?”

His voice rasped a bit and his breathing didn't sound very good… “Got jumped.  They got my money too, can you spot me a tea until I can-”

The counter girl made a Tcht! Noise and  got him a tea… and a less perfect looking pastry.

Bond made a decision: it would be good cover anyway, since the boy was apparently known. “Excuse me, miss?  I think he could use a bit more than that: please get him a soup, on me.”

“That… isn't..” he turned and stopped, staring up at Bond with green eyes- well one was green, one was swollen shut.

“I know it isn't necessary, but please allow me… you really should go get checked out…”

“Hospitals…” he ducked his head, “i Uh… don't like them very much.” 

Bond couldn't help but think how many times he’d stitched himself up rather than go to medical. “I can sympathize.” He took the soup from the girl and gently placed a hand under the boy’s elbow … he wasn't a boy really, just young. “Come on and sit down at least.  Miss?” he spoke over his shoulder as he guided ‘Andy’ to a chair, “do you have a bag of ice?”

She looked approving at him and promised an ice bag at the earliest opportunity.  Bond got the young man settled into a chair.

“They got your ribs pretty well by the look of it.”

“Yeah,” he winced, “I think they’re just sore, not broken, but it's hard to tell.”

Bond watched him sip at the soup gingerly and after a while the girl came over with the ice bag.  Bond of course was continuing to watch people come and go- quite a few looked like they might be involved with computers. His assessment of the young man across from him was that he was beaten for being gay, possibly for working the streets, but possibly not.  When the ice had done a bit of work he finally asked: “So did they jump you coming back from a club or?”

“I was spending the night at a friend’s place and trying to get back to feed my cats…” Andy sighed, “It wasn't far from here so when I could get back up- after i got away from then- I came in here: it’s safe here.”

“Do you need me to walk you home? I wouldn't think its that dangerous here but…”

“Oh, I don't live in this section- all the upscale stuff.  Technically I live directly behind the shop,” He waved vaguely at the back of the coffee shop” they haven't quite gotten to turning it into upscale housing, so the rent is low, but it's close enough to the upscale places…”

At that point the young lady from behind the counter came over- taking off her apron with the shop's name on it. “Andy? I’m off now, can i help you get home?”

He gave a grateful look at her and then looked over at Bond, “Thank you for the offer, though.”

“No problem.”

“I’ve never seen you around here?” he asked getting up with a groan and a wince.

“I’m on something of an enforced vacation for pissing off my boss, so i was looking at investment properties.” Bond shrugged, “Transitioning neighborhoods, you know.”

“Well, if you can do a better job of repairing my building I’d be all for it.”

The girl laughed, “Like you care? As long as you get your internet.”

“Everyone that is left  in that building stays because of the internet,” he sniffed, "even that isn't enough anymore, two more people left. I swear there's more flats abandoned than lived in."

Bond suddenly paid much more attention, although he didn't let it show. “Bad housing, good internet?”

“Pretty much. They were going to turn them into upscale flats, and… I guess the money ran out or the permits? Anyway they put in really good internet, but the plumbing still sucks and the windows are mostly taped shut or they rattle.

Bond wished him well  and watched them go out.  He sent a message back to Q branch asking if they could look up that building instead, and if it was close enough to have confused where their hacker was located.  He left to find a hotel nearby until after dark.

He got a reply in a few hours that the ISP address matched to the building with the coffee shop…

Bond changed into work gear and slipped out.

He found the building "behind the shop" and it frankly looked like it was uninhabitable. It was no trouble to get in, but the lift didn't work, and the stairs were a disaster. He finally picked an abandoned flat with a busted door-no hinges, it was just locked in place by the door handle- and slipped in.

There was  the remains of packing crate furniture and a few bits of cloth or blankets  in what was evidently supposed to be a living room: a cat had made a home for itself on one of the piles of cloth  in the corner.

"Hey puss." Bond murmured as he checked the cracked windows: perfect view of the coffee shop flats. The carpet had been pulled up in front of the window, probably because of rain getting in, but it made it easier to set up the sniper rifle.

The cat wasn't feral in the slightest, but came over and rubbed fur all over Bond's slacks. He idly scritched it behind the ears as he set up. A carefully guarded secret of Bond's was how much he loved animals- it always bothered him to have to take down a guard dog that was just doing its job.

He'd been in place for just a few minutes when the cat pricked its ears and trotted off through a hole in the door that probably led to the bedroom...Bond didn't think much of it, mice probably,  but a few moments later he heard a soft voice and stumbling footsteps. 

Oh hell, someone was using this as a flop house?

"....forgot to feed you...i'll get…" they were mumbling quietly at the cat

When the person shambled in carrying a torch with the cat twining around their ankles  Bond had no choice but to take them down. He had a hand clapped over their mouth even as  he locked his arm around their throat…

He struggled briefly and Bond lowered them to the floor.  He honestly would have killed them-it was habit in his job- but the cat was obviously well cared for and...well, Bond figured with the lights out, and if he was careful, the human wouldn't be able to identify him-the cat obviously wouldn't.

"I don't...have any money here…" the man rasped out from the floor as Bond quickly restrained him.

The cat mewed rather frantically and bumped at the man...boy? On the floor.

"Oh god, run away Ducky: please don't hurt my cat,  god I'll do anything…!"

And that was when the build, and the voice pattern matched to the beaten young man from the coffee shop.


	2. Warcraft

Bond considered quickly: the young man hadn't wanted to report a beating, was clearly at least somewhat on the outside of society and could very likely be convinced to shut up-alternately he wouldn't be considered a reliable witness. His training said to kill him and deal with it later, but...Bond justified leaving him alive by assuming M would be upset about unnecessary civilian  casualties on English soil.

"I'm not hurting your cat…” Bond tried for ‘soothing’ in tone, he wasn't sure he managed it. “I won't even hurt you if you hush: I thought this flat was empty."

Andy stilled slowly. "...Your voice…"

"If I let you up will you behave? I doubt this is a good position on your ribs."

Andy nodded slowly, "my arm too… you won't hurt my cats?"

Bond let him up carefully and cut the zip tie on his wrists.  "I won't hurt your cats. I don't want to hurt you: I honestly thought this flat was abandoned."

"You're the man in the shop...you won't hurt my cats?"

"I'll pretend you didn't say that and haven't recognized me," Bond grumbled, "I'm not hurting any cats- I only saw one- and this is actually a matter of national security. "

“W-what?”

“You don’t want or need to know.” Bond considered his panic and how hard he’d taken him down, “Do you have any ice for your ribs and arm? I’m afraid I can't let you leave until after i do…”

“Uh… i… maybe? Can you find my glasses?”

“Glasses?” he hadn't been wearing any in the shop.

“I’m quite blind without them- or my contact lenses.”

“Ah.” Bond sighed and glanced around until a few shadows on the floor pattern matched… he walked over and got the glasses from where they’d gone flying. “Here.”

He pulled Andy up from the floor, “reassure poor puss there and I’ll find you ice… damn the odds of this flat being occupied: please don’t try to leave, I'd be sorry to have to hurt you after all.”

Andy took a shaky breath, “I’ll uh, just sit here on the sofa then.”

“It's a packing crate- a broken packing crate.” Bond grumbled as he walked into the kitchen, listening for motion- he didn't hear any from Andy but the cat trotted in after him.

“Ducky thinks you’re getting him food- I … I forgot to feed him- I was hurting and....”

“Where is it?”

“Bottom cabinet, the door held on by tape, as opposed to the one without a door.”

Bond came back with an ice pack and a tin of cat food. “You LIVE like this?”

Andy took the ice pack rather defensively, “My family is...a problem, and the rent is cheap and the internet is good… and people don't usually bother me here.”

“Internet,” Bond sighed and rubbed his forehead. _Maybe I am getting too old for this_. “Don’t suppose you’d know any hackers that live over the  sandwich shop?” he settled himself back by the window and opened the cat food for Ducky, who purred graciously and set into it.

“Uh… hackers? Over the...is that a sniper rifle?!” his voice raised rather sharply at the end.

“Yes. do be quiet.” Bond glanced back at him, “I’m mostly using it for the scope at the moment.”

“You’re… you’re going to shoot… a hacker… over my favorite sandwich shop?!”

“Probably.” Bond considered, “I was told to remove or retrieve, and it was left at my discretion.  Incidentally if you DO try to say anything about it you will get a lovely visit by government agents-”

“Say anything about what.” Andy rather hurriedly interrupted. “No. no government agents… wait… you… you were sent by the government to…”

“Retrieve or remove a hacker who has been causing some issues. I’m rather in the dog house at the moment- that part of what i said is true-so i got sent on this job.”

“Remove though? Not just...Uh… why… I mean… are you sure that’s where…”

“I called in and asked if they might be here- given the internet- but they were quite certain the computer system was in that building.”

“Uh… right… ah… I don't suppose I could go make tea, or something…”

The kitchen likely had knives, but it didn't have any way out. “Certainly, go right ahead.”

Andy got up slowly, still holding the ice bag to his ribs. “Traitor,” he muttered at Ducky, who was eating while shedding on Bond’s trousers.

Bond chuckled, “where’s the other cat?”

“Oh, at this hour? I’m not sure. Alan is more like a feral that uses this as his base of operations- he has a begging route i think… either that or he’s shaking down the neighborhood for protection.”

Bond chuckled, “I'll keep an eye out, sounds like a nice fellow.”

“He’s a menace and destroys things.”

“I love him already.”

Bond listened to Andy moving slowly in the kitchen- if you could dignify it with that term- and watched the apartments across the way.  There were several people who COULD be hackers, but… they did seem to have regular jobs? Perhaps they were part time hackers?

Andy came out of the kitchen slowly carrying two tea cups. “I uh… made you a tea?  I assume the way you took it in the shop is right…”

Bond blinked at the man-he seemed nervous and … well that was probably normal, and he couldn't picture that the man had any drugs in his kitchen that would survive a hot mug of tea. “Thank you.  You don't know any of the people who live over there, “ Bond waved at the windows, “do you?”

“Two of them i know a little- we run into each other in the shop.” Andy took a deep breath, “You were sent to kill a hacker? Seriously?”

“Yes. Kill or retrieve.”

“I… never believed…” he trailed off.

“Most people don’t think their own countries do things ‘like that’” Bond pointed out. “So which two do you know, and could they be hackers?”

“Uh… Dolly and Craig… and… no. I mean Craig thinks he is but he hasn't a clue.”

“Pardon?”

“Dolly is hopeless at a computer, and admits it, but Craig THINKS he’s hot stuff and he isn't… I doubt he could hack into anything but maybe a lightly protected wifi.” Andy shook his head slowly, “What… what did this hacker do that… that has … who wants him dead anyway?”

“I have no idea what they did- computers aren't my area- and the more you know the more dangerous it is for you.”

“Ah… well… i… you do work for Britain?” 

“Yes.”

Andy sat huddled around the ice bag and his tea for a few minutes. “Seriously i doubt any hackers live over the sandwich shop.”

“Well, my employers disagree.” Bond shrugged. “Incidentally, why don't you apply to work there? If you can make this nice a cup of tea in THAT kitchen…”

“Umm… thank you… but… ah… have you ever tried to work in food service? Even at a nice place?  I’d end up dumping a pot of hot water over someone sooner or later.”

Bond could see that, but thought it must be preferable to his current life, still, who was he to judge. Bond was about to ask Andy a question when unexpected motion caught his attention- it didn't take long to resolve itself as the second cat. “I take it this is Alan?”

Andy looked over and nodded, “Back early are you Alan? Well it’s your lucky day, there’s an assassin of some kind in my apartment and he likes cats.”

Alan walked up to Bond and sniffed at him before launching up to Bond’s shoulder.

“Oof!... well he’s not going hungry, that's for certain.” Bond carefully lifted him off his shoulder, “he’s a big kitty.”

“Mmm-Hmm.” Andy nodded and then  startled at a faint beeping noise coming from the bedroom. “Oh, ah… my pills...can i …”

“Go on.”

Andy got up and shuffled off to his bedroom: Bond wasn't paying much attention because he was TRYING to focus on the fellow across the way- he might be Craig- who seemed very intent on his computer.

Bond finally called in and was trying to describe the screen that he could see to a tech, when Andy spoke up. “He’s just playing a computer game- badly I might add.”

“Oh?” Bond turned to look and Andy waved a small very high end laptop computer with a similar looking screen. “It's just a GAME...… look… its not Craig you’re after.”

The tech’s voice in his ear asked who that was and Bond ignored their question and told them to find out if someone was using a lot of computer power for a game.

“For God’s sake,” Andy sighed, “Poor Craig doesn't deserve to get killed over a video game because… because you think it has to be someone over the shop.”

“Probably.” Bond shrugged, “not like i know anything about it.”

Andy typed a few things into the laptop and the screen closed down. “I just took a pain pill and it hasn't hit yet. I was going to see if there was any food in the kitchen…”

Bond turned off the throat mike and nodded at the laptop in Andy’s hands, “I really should take that away from you, you know.”

“I… know.” Andy winced.

“Don't make me orphan your cats.” Bond waved him on toward the kitchen, and went back to watching Craig and listening for the confirmation from the tech.

While Andy was in the kitchen- apparently opening and closing everything in a futile search for food- the tech came back online. “There does seem to be someone using a lot of bandwidth for a game, but-”

At that moment the lights, including computer lights and desk lamps, in the target building went out. “Power just went out.” Bond reported.

“Can you take the shot anyway?”

“Certainly: I have a night scope,” Bond said it calmly but inwardly he was seething- _what kind of amateur do they take me for?_

He was lining up a shot when the tech said, “wait… our… our hacker just  popped up on a different ISP?”

“What?”

“He switched to a different computer- based out of a university?”

“So… it's NOT the fellow I was about to shoot?” Bond said it lightly and apparently the soft tone of voice unnerved the tech because he started stammering, “uh, well, i mean… the power is out there and the ISP… I mean it could be… but  if he can't upload anything… uh…”

Bond rubbed at his eyes. I've been here half the night, terrorized some poor kid who lives in a condemnable flat with his two cats, and nearly killed an innocent civilian over a video game and mistaken identity.

“How long do you think it will take to get me information that is actually, you know, reliable?”

The man was stammering and Bond hung up in disgust.

Andy staggered in with a new ice bag on his ribs, “Please tell me you aren't going to shoot Craig?”

“I’m not shooting Craig,” Bond tried to keep his voice level but Andy cringed back a bit, “Because the power went out in the building and the hacker ‘suddenly' was using a computer in some university.”

“He’s just… spoofing his location by  using a proxy…” Andy stared at him, “If you actually work for the government surely you understand that?!”

“My knowledge of computers begins and ends at Navy uses and bomb timers.” In actual fact it was a bit better than that. “Unfortunately the current crop of techs back a… anyway they are idiots: all they can verify right now is that its NOT anyone currently in the shop they told me to target.” Bond snarled under his breath, “idiots.”

“So… you said… you weren't going to hurt me, and i didn't.. I didn't cause any trouble…”

Bond stood up and walked over to him, “You LOOK like you’re going to fall over.”

“Stress.” Andy said very firmly.

Bond finally had time to process the thing he had noticed much earlier and ignored, “You have a very educated voice and a working knowledge of computers…”

Andy sagged, “Yes, well… I rather ran away from home…in any event i never expected an assassin-”

He stopped talking abruptly as Bond reached out and touched his forehead- feverish definitely- “Technically, you are a liability-”

“Well, obviously.” Andy muttered.

“But… if I stretch the term just a bit… you COULD be a civilian asset.”

“Errr… I could? You mean you won't shoot me?”

“I said I wasn't going to,” Bond looked down at the two cats and around at the pitiful excuse for a flat. “Go pack. I assume you have cat carriers?”

“Yeeesss? Uh… why?”

“Until I get my new orders I’m still on this assignment, and in any event I’m still in the doghouse with my boss, so I need to go somewhere  until i get the new mission.”

“... and I’m packing why?” Andy  sounded like he didn't want the answer.

“Firstly because you know too much and I need to keep you under wraps until I complete the mission-” 

“I’m NOT telling anyone!” Andy interjected rather  hurriedly

Bond just continued. “secondly because you know a bit about computers and I'm beginning to think the tech experts handling this case don’t.”

“They don't appear to know ANYTHING about computers.” Andy agreed firmly, and then more hesitantly, “i … ah… well yes i had some computer classes.. I mean… why?”

“Well that brings us to point three: I’m kidnapping you, more or less: You can rest and recover in much nicer surroundings, and… possibly help me track down  a threat to national security.”

Andy stared at him.

Bond waved a hand in front of the man’s face.

“You… are kidnapping me… to keep me from calling the police or intelligence agencies- which i wouldn't do because i don't want anything to do with them- and to … have me help you find some hacker…that… you want to shoot?”

“Well right now i really want to shoot the tech people back at HQ but… my boss would get even angrier if i did.” Bond smiled at him, “otherwise quite correct: think of it as a vacation.”

Andy tried to protest; Bond pointed out the alternative was keeping him quiet more permanently- “and no one wants that, who’d take care of the cats?”

It took nearly an hour- Andy had asked Bond politely to let him at least pack up his bedroom in privacy, which Bond shouldnt have but did- and they were on the road to someplace with decent beds and baths and a kitchen that could actually be cooked in.

Bond was torn between wanting to finish the mission quickly and hoping he had a few days to put some food into Andy- he was much too thin- and get him patched up from the beating.

Given how incompetent the techs seemed to be at finding their mystery hacker? He probably had time.


	3. Chapter 3

With Andy moving as slowly as he was, and carrying a cat carrier it took them quite a while to walk the few blocks to where Bond had left the car. Andy kept looking at Bond as though he was waiting for something horrible to happen, but James had one of the cat carriers AND Andy’s rucksack, so he didn't think Andy would bolt- he was probably just scared.

Bond was just settling into the car when HQ called him again.

Andy looked even more miserable in the better lighting of the car-: it was probably a very good thing to get him someplace to feed him and check him over. Bond arched an eyebrow at him, “Can you be quiet?”

“Uh. yes?”

“Good. listen in.” He put the call on speaker in the car and pulled out onto the road. “Bond.”

“Your target just started a rapid broad scale attack on multiple computers!” 

“Did he.” Bond sighed, “and where is he this time that you are so certain of?”

“Uh… the … uh…”

“I repeat: I almost killed a civilian because of your insistence that he was-”

“Can you… uh… hold on? I have to help…”

Bond snorted and turned off the microphone. “Bloody idiots.”

“They sound it.” Andy agreed quietly. “So can i go back home?”

“No.”

“I promise I won't say anything!”

“Of course you won’t.” Bond sighed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel  “If you tell anyone I said this I will categorically deny it… but i feel just a tiny bit guilty for breaking into your flat by mistake and knocking you down on your injuries: I want to make sure you get some decent food and some rest at least.”

“...you… but you were going to shoot…”

Bond just waved a hand at him, “You’re kidnapped, remember? The dastardly murderer is dragging you off against your will and you might as well get a nap in the car.”

“... but the hacker is… off somewhere else and you have to go find them? Somewhere else? … Don't you?”

“They don't know where he is, and frankly i plan on complaining vehemently to my boss about this in the morning- well, later in the morning. She hates publicity, civilian casualties, and my paperwork, so i think she’ll-”

“Hello Mister Bond?” a female voice on the line- not one he knew.

Bond flipped the pickup back on, “Bond.”

“They’re all… dealing with the DDoS attack and i just realized you were still on hold.”

Andy muttered, “she at least knows the terms!”

“Yes, yes i was… I can say I have been very impressed-  with you- so far: who are you and what do you have to do with this mess?”

“Danielle Cooper, Mister Bond, I’m a junior IT tech- I really shouldn't even be talking to you but i saw that Bradley left you on hold…”

Bond smiled and let his voice warm up, “Danielle- may I call you Danielle?- it's just Bond or my number when  on duty, but since right now this is an unofficial conversation please call me James.”

“Er, yes Mister Bond… uh Bond? “ she flustered and then hesitantly, “James? Well, I’ll just hang up the call…”

“Hold on a moment, Danielle; The people who gave me the assignment  told me the hacker was in a specific location when they were not, and a civilian almost got killed over it: can you tell me what  YOU think about this?”

“... i shouldn't even be talking to you!” 

Bond  smiled at the windshield and continued, “Yes, well… I'm certain that-” one of the cats took that moment to howl piteously from the carrier.

“Was that a cat?”

“Yes.” Bond  continued speaking over her questions about the cat. “You said it was a DDoS? You seem to know more about computers than the last fellow… Tell me: does anyone there ACTUALLY have any clue where the hacker is located?”

“They… ah… oh hell…” her voice lowered to a near whisper, “No. Bradley says he knows what he’s doing but he doesn't- I do half the computer work he gets credit for.  Why would you shoot this hacker? He hasn't done anything serious?”

“Hasn't he? M was rather firm about it.”

Andy was staring back and forth from the speaker to Bond and finally spoke up, “Yes, what DID the hacker do that  an assassin was sent to shoot him?!”

“I don’t know!” Danielle sounded very upset but kept her voice down, “It's not been anything worth shooting anyone about, but maybe Bradley made it sound more important to make himself look good?  I have to go…”

Bond stopped her and handed off his current phone number, “I don't want to get blamed for causing needless civilian casualties, Danielle… can you keep in touch?”

She gulped and gave Bond her phone number, “Bye.”

After the call disconnected Bond drummed his fingers on the steering wheel a bit more. “Now THAT’s going to blow up spectacularly… I wonder if that's why M sent me?”

“I… probably don't want to know,” Andy said quietly, “but I want to know.”

Bond chuckled, “A man after my own heart… alright.” He considered how to explain this, “M is my boss- the one i’m in the dog house with.”

“M… as in… M the head of MI6?”

“Yes. Read a lot of spy thrillers do you?”

“Not… really?  but...My family…”

Bond continued, “She KNOWS i have a history of insubordination and deciding not to follow orders based on what i find in the field: I’m wondering if that’s why she sent me.”

Andy was quiet for a moment- other than trying to settle the cats- and then said, “So she may have ordered you off to do this because she had… questions about the reliability of the information?  Why wouldn't she tell you that?”

Bond glanced over at him and nodded approvingly, “Very good analysis.  Usually the answer to that is politics, but sometimes it's trying to smoke out a mole.  Of course she could have just been suspicious and figured that IF there was a problem I’d probably find it” Bond was beginning to feel MUCH better about being on this assignment. “Honestly I thought she was just making me take this assignment because she knew it would aggravate me- should have known better.”

“So… uh...you… report to M… and she sent you to… assassinate… oh GOD you’re a Double O?!”

Bond glanced over to see  Andy staring wide eyed with his mouth open- it would have been a lot more attractive if he wasn't still visibly bruised…

“Yes. Surprised you know the terms but  a lot of the older information has been making it out into novels and memoirs...Why do you dye your hair blond anyway?”

“What?  Uh my hair?  Well… i… my family… and…. I thought it looked better?”

“With your complexion and eye color darker hair would look quite stunning on you, actually.”

Andy sat there and blinked at him for a bit. “I… uh.. Are you flirting? Because honestly I'm complete pants at knowing if anyone is flirting.”

Bond laughed, “Well first of all, i always flirt, so i suppose i was; secondly i’m not going to seriously flirt with you and MEAN it until after I know you’ve had a good night's sleep, a decent meal, and are feeling a bit less cornered.”

“... surprisingly decent of you.”

“I try to keep my less pleasant side for business.”

Andy was quiet after that, and eventually dozed off.  Bond had time to study him a bit during the drive: Dark brown hair bleached to blond, good bone structure under all that bruising and swelling, long fingers- Bond would have guessed he was a musician if he was just going by that.  It was really hard to place his age: his composure under stress spoke to older, but a lot of abused and runaway kids acted older than they were. He certainly was concerned about his family.

...

When Andy woke up the first thing he said was “Are… are we going into London?” 

“Yes.”

He tried to slide down into the seat, “My brother lives in London.”

“The odds that we will drive past your brother in a city this size…”

Andy slid down further and winced, “I don’t go into London, ever.”

“You’re a passenger in my car, your face is puffy and bruised, and your hair is blond,” Bond reached over and dragged him back up. “We’re almost to my flat anyway.”

“Your flat? Uh… you’re a spy, why would you…” he looked worried, “I don't want to know where you live, really!”

“I’m not killing you, Andy, and I don't think you’ll tell anyone where i live; besides, I'm hardly ever there anyway and I have three places in England- this is just the one closest to MI6.” Bond considered, “And the one i don't have a flatmate.”

“Spies have  flatmates?” Andy sounded incredulous.

“Well, I do at least: I’m rarely home, so having someone else pick up any mail and keep the place looking lived in…” Bond shrugged as he pulled into park. “One of them also works at MI6  and knows I'm an agent: the other one thinks I'm in sales.”

It wasn't difficult to get Andy into the flat- he mostly seemed to be intent on getting out of sight. _Poor kid his family must be awful._

 


	4. Watch your assets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bond reports in.
> 
> (we are in the middle of a brutal heatwave and it is melting my brain- and the brains of many of my fellow writers in the region. Please bear with us)

Bond dozed on the sofa- he’d put Andy in his bedroom after locking up the weapons. Andy had been surprised to be given the bedroom- and truthfully Bond thought, a bit surprised to be left ALONE in the bedroom- but there was only one way in or out of the flat if you weren't willing to break a window.  Andy might think he could sneak out, but he seemed exhausted enough to just fall asleep, and besides he’d have to go past the sofa to get to the door, so Bond could be fairly certain he'd stay put: especially since he was so attached to the cats.

He had been a bit surprised at the cats in the light of day: Ducky was an ordinary looking cat, all things considered, and settled down quickly in the new place, but Alan was a giant ginger tom with a crooked tail, a swagger, and a scar on the side of his face- he also rather grumpily tried to find a way out of the flat and seemed quite put upon by the relocation.

...

Bond woke up quickly when he heard motion and was reaching for his gun… oh, Andy was just using the bathroom; well if he was up… Bond started breakfast and put on coffee.

Andy came out after a bit… “I.. ah.. Used your shower, i hope you don’t mind.”

“Given that we’re sharing a flat? It would be preferable to smell soap and no other options, so feel free to shower as much as you like… I have an extra hot water heater for the flat as well- you won't run out.”

“Thank you… uh… is that breakfast?”

“Yes. I wasn't certain what you’d be up to so i made an assortment.”

“You cook?”

“Yet another thing i will deny if you tell anyone, but yes.”

“Why would you deny knowing how to cook?”

“Because then people will expect me to stop charging expensive meals out on all my expense forms.”

Andy blinked several times and then grinned, “do you actually eat out that much?”

“No.” Bond grinned back. “Coffee to start?”

“Do… do you have any tea?”

Bond nodded and opened his tea cabinet, “pick your poison.”

Andy’s eyes went wide and he approached the cabinet with something like reverence- “Oh GOD… you can kidnap me anytime! I normally have to take whatever I can get or … well buy at the shop.”

“Their tea was acceptable.” Bond nodded, “I tend to bring tea back from my travels when I can, so I have quite a selection.”

“You… oh my lord you have white tea?  And...is that REAL green tea?” Andy ran a finger over the box label and muttered a province...

“You read Chinese?”

“Err… well…” he fidgeted slightly, “tea labels, anyway.”

“Sit.  I’ll get it all made up. Oh, did you need more ice? More pain medication?”

“I… wouldn't turn down a bit more pain medication if you have any.”

Bond snickered and rattled off five of the less powerful medications he had on hand, “plus alcohol if that's your choice, but don't mix them.”

“Good God no… ah…” Andy looked down at the plate of food that Bond put down and quietly said, “My family has a bad history with… my brother is an addict: i don't… I try to avoid taking anything addictive, or drinking.”

“Ah.  well taking pain meds when you are actually hurt should be safe enough.”  Bond went into the fridge and came out with the mildest pain pills. “This is pretty mild…”

Andy stared at the label, “This is MILD?!”

“Ah… well… my idea of pain may be a bit…”

He shook out a pill and stared at it for a bit, “Don't let me take a lot, ok?  I really… I really worry about addiction.” he muttered, “Aready bloody addicted to caffeine.”

Bond made a note of the time and put the pills back. “You’ll probably get sleepy if you don't take a lot of pain pills.”

Alan chose that moment to hit the door with his paw- Bond spun reaching for a weapon before he realized… “I thought that was just in movies,” he muttered.

Andy had been startled by Bond being startled, but  asked, “what was just in movies?”

“Startling noise happens and then ‘oh its just the cat’...”

“In movies that is inevitably followed by it NOT being just the cat, but in this case… yes Alan is upset that he can’t go out and shake down the neighbors for chicken.”

Bond got them both more food and then pulled out his phone, “I need  to call in and find out what is ACTUALLY going on.”

“Do… you want me to , ah, step out?”

“You can stay, but if i tell you to leave- leave.”

So Andy sat there with an ice pack and his tea while Bond called in to M.  It took the usual convincing before he was put through.

“I expected you  to be reporting in person, not calling in: what’s wrong.”

“Q branch handing out inaccurate, and probably completely trumped up, information: you should be pleased i managed to avoid the civilian casualties they almost caused.”

Bond could picture her staring at the phone in disbelief, “They caused… YOU avoided…” after a lengthy pause in which Bond said nothing she snorted, “who are you and what have you done with 007: alright tell me about this inaccurate and trumped up information i have been handed.”

Bond told her about the certainty that the hacker was over the coffee shop, the power outage just before he shot the suspect and the sudden change of location… “My civilian asset says they were just ‘proxy servers’ and have nothing to do with the targets location.  After that I-”

“JUST one moment, Bond!” M snapped into the phone. “WHAT civilian asset?”

The abandoned apartment i was using as a staging ground… wasn't.” Bond shrugged and glanced at Andy watching him warily from behind an ice bag. “Rather than kill him, I've recruited him.”

Bond heard M muttering something and then  the familiar rattle of a pill bottle. Eventually, “And what else… you did say there was more?”

“After  i tried to take the Q branch expert to task on the matter  our hacker began what both Danielle and my asset described as a DDoS attack… however interestingly our ‘computer expert’ had no idea what it was called…. And has apparently been lying about the threat level of the hacker to make himself look more important: Danielle had no idea why he would have been worth targeting.”

“And just WHO is Danielle?”

“Danielle Cooper is an agent in Q branch who has apparently been doing some of the work that  ‘Bradley’ - our so called computer expert- has been claiming credit for.”

“He’s not a computer expert,” Andy muttered, “I bet Craig knows more than he does.”

M, as usual, had a near supernatural ability to hear things you didn't want her to hear and immediately said, “Is that your civilian asset?”

“Yes.”

“You have an unvetted civilian, who was… squatting in an abandoned building-”

“No, Ma’am: he was paying rent- why i don’t know- in a flat that LOOKED abandoned.” Bond looked over at Andy, “Why were you paying rent on that flat? It was horrible!”

Andy stared at him but  eventually shrugged and spoke up, “Rent was less than a quarter of rent for a crappy flat anywhere else- they were desperate to keep tenants in there for some reason, probably taxes or something, and the internet was top notch and included: everyone in that building by this point was staying for the internet.”

“Did you get that?”

“Yes.  he sounds educated.”

“Hmm.” Bond made a noncommittal noise, knowing she’d take that as assent.

“And HE knows computers?”

“Well enough, obviously.”

“And from what he just said; anyone of  the entire population of that building could be our hacker?”

“Yes. in fact when I first found out about the building and the internet i called in to Q branch to ask if they had the target address wrong- it was after all quite nearby- but Bradley insisted…”

“Ma’am,” Andy leaned forward just slightly, “Even Danielle said the hacker wasn't actually doing anything that serious- nothing to warrant a Double Oh or anything… couldn't I just… go home?” he glanced around the room sadly, “I really can’t stay in London.”

Bond looked at him, “No one is going to bother you in my flat.”

“Bond… no civilian casualties- that includes your civilian asset there.”

“I had no plans to-”

“You and plans have at best a casual acquaintance, Bond!” she snapped, “Until i get to the bottom of this  keep your asset under wraps, and do NOT let him talk to anyone- it sounds like quite the security breach.”

“He’s not reporting to anyone.”

“Has it occured to you he might be your target?”

“Yes it occured to me, M, I’m not an idiot: he was in direct line of sight of me- in my car in fact- when the DDoS attack began.”

“...  Well one could hope,” M sighed, “I shall have Tanner talk to this Danielle Cooper and review the security records on Mister Tyson.” she hung up.

**Author's Note:**

> Only_1_truth s version of the same prompt;  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062909/chapters/45804217


End file.
